Looking After Mum or Dad with Dementia? We're Here to Help.
Dementia changes family life in ways nobody prepares you for. If you are the son or daughter holding it together, we want to make one part of it easier: the practical, everyday support that helps your mum or dad stay comfortable in their own home.
The phone call that changes everything
It often starts with something ordinary. Your dad puts the kettle on and forgets what he was doing. Your mum asks the same question three times and then looks embarrassed. A neighbour mentions that the front door was open at seven in the morning.
Then comes the part that is harder to say out loud. You are exhausted. You are doing the visits, the phone calls, the chemist run and the hospital appointments, on top of work and your own family. You love them, and you are frightened, and sometimes you are quietly resentful, and then you feel guilty about that too.
That is the position most of the families we support are in when they first call. You do not need to have it all worked out. We will start by listening to what is actually happening, and then tell you honestly what support might look like and whether we are the right people to provide it.
Understanding dementia, without the jargon
Dementia is an umbrella term for a group of conditions that affect memory, thinking, communication and behaviour over time. Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause, but it is not the only one. Because the changes come gradually, families often adapt almost without noticing, until one day they realise quite how much has quietly shifted.
What matters practically is that dementia makes the world harder to interpret. A person may not remember where they are going, or why, or who has just spoken to them. Loud rooms, unexpected changes and hurried conversations can be frightening rather than merely confusing. Understanding that changes how support should be given.
How we support someone living with dementia
Our approach is patient, familiar and unhurried. In practice that means adapting ourselves to the person rather than expecting them to adapt to us.
Keeping to familiar routines
A predictable day is reassuring in a way that is hard to overstate. Meals, washing and bedtime at roughly the same times, in the same order, with the same prompts, reduces the number of decisions a person has to make and the number of surprises. Where a routine has worked for decades, we keep it rather than replacing it with a tidier one.
Promoting independence
Dementia does not remove a person's ability to do things, it changes which things. We look for what your mum or dad can still manage, and we support that rather than taking over. If they can butter their own toast, we let them. Doing things ourselves is one of the last things people give up, and protecting it protects dignity too.
Respecting dignity and privacy
Personal care happens behind a closed door, with a towel within reach, and with the person told what is happening before it happens. We ask before we help. We do not talk across someone as if they are not there, and we do not discuss their condition with a relative in the same room without their agreement.
Patience and compassionate communication
We allow time for replies, ask one question at a time, and give clear, short explanations. We do not correct confused statements, because being told you are wrong is distressing and does not help. Instead we respond to the feeling underneath: if your dad is asking to go home, he is usually looking for reassurance, not an address.
Companionship and social interaction
Company is not a lower priority than personal care. We sit and talk, look through old photographs, listen to music from their twenties, or potter about the kitchen together. Social contact keeps language and confidence going for longer, and it makes the day feel like a day rather than a wait.
Meals and hydration
We prepare meals and drinks according to individual preferences and agreed dietary requirements. With dementia we also watch for the things people stop noticing themselves: whether food is actually eaten, whether the fridge is being used safely, whether enough fluid is being taken. We will mention anything we notice rather than leaving you to work it out.
Personal care where agreed
Support with washing, dressing and continence care is available where it has been agreed as part of the care plan and is within our service scope. It is done at the person's pace and in their own way, and it can be built up gradually if someone is initially reluctant.
Medication support where authorised
We provide medication support in accordance with our policies, the training our staff have completed and applicable requirements, usually prompting or helping with pre-packed medication. We will be clear from the start about exactly what we can do. We do not make clinical decisions, and we never change a dose or a medicine.
Remaining in familiar surroundings
For many people living with dementia, home is the last place that still makes sense. The layout, the view from the kitchen window, the neighbour who has known them for thirty years, all keep working when memory is unreliable. Supporting someone at home is about protecting that familiarity for as long as it is genuinely safe and realistic.
Supporting the family, too
You are part of this. We will talk to you about how visits are going, take your calls when you are worried, and tell you honestly when we think more support is needed. We can also cover visits so you can have a proper break, which is not a luxury. Carers who never stop eventually become unwell themselves.
We will never tell you that home care can stop dementia progressing, or that it can guarantee your mum or dad is safe at all times. It cannot, and anyone who says otherwise is not being straight with you. What good support can do is make daily life calmer, more comfortable and more dignified, and give the family some room to breathe.
What to do next, gently
You do not need a diagnosis in place, a care plan, or any paperwork to talk to us. Most first conversations are simply someone describing what they have noticed and asking whether it sounds like enough to need help. Quite often it is, and quite often a single weekly visit is all that is needed to take the pressure down.
Call or message 07871 501211 whenever suits you. We will arrange to meet your mum or dad at home, with you there if that helps them feel comfortable, and explain who we are in plain language. If they do not want anything yet, that is a perfectly acceptable outcome and nothing is lost.
Related support
Alzheimer's support at home
Specifically about supporting someone living with Alzheimer's.
Dementia-aware care
Our full dementia service and what a visit looks like.
Respite for family carers
Cover so you can rest, work or simply switch off for a day.
Dementia questions
Answers to the questions families ask most often.